My Mentor Story

 My ACE Mentor Program participationby Joel D. Smith I began participating in the ACE Mentor Program, along with Antinozzi Associates, during the 2002-2003 school year.  Antinozzi encourages all interns (unlicensed professionals) to participate in leadership activities in and outside of the office.  I saw the ACE Mentor Program as a great way to give back to our local community and provide me with opportunities to lead others and grow professionally.  ACE has allowed me to do just that.  I serve as a mentor to students from Stratford and Bridgeport high schools who are interested in architecture, construction, or engineering careers. I was initially attracted to the ACE Mentor Program because it provided students with an early opportunity to experience what it’s like to be an architect, construction manager, or engineer.  I wish that such an opportunity was available for me when I was in high school (Seymour High School, 1992).  As a freshman, I didn’t even know what drafting was and I only happened to stumble upon it by seeing a mechanical drawing that a friend had done.  I proceeded to take drafting the next 3 years and decided on Architecture as my major for college.  But this decision was based on a very limited concept of what an architect really did.  College was a HUGE awakening period for me as I was not prepared for what it really takes to be an architect.  As a result, I doubted my major many times as new aspects of architecture were revealed.  If I had access to the ACE Mentor Program in high school, I would have been much more prepared and confident to pursue architecture. As a mentor, I now enjoy providing kids with this awesome opportunity.  Through ACE, I can help guide students before they even set foot on a college campus or spend thousands of dollars not knowing what major they want to pursue.  I enjoy exposing them to each profession involved in the building design and construction process.  Some students have been directed into engineering or construction when they initially thought they wanted to do architecture, and that’s OK.  I’m a mentor because I want to make a difference in these kids’ lives.  Recruiting them for the AEC industry is just a great bonus. I feel great joy and pride as the students present their projects during our Final Presentations to parents and peers, which concludes our program.  The students are so proud of their accomplishments.  They learn many skills that will be necessary in whichever major they choose.  We’ve had multiple students who have participated for several or more years in the program.  I am encouraged seeing them grow and mature in the program, and then watching them go on to college to pursue one of these majors.  Hopefully our professional paths will cross some day and I can first-hand experience the fruits of my labor.  We work hard as mentors, giving of our own time and resources as much as possible.  The rewards are definitely worth it.

Norwalk Mentor Program

When I met my mentee she was a very shy first grader with very little self confidence. She had difficulty making friends and seldom had anyone to sit with her in the lunchroom. Over time, she started to open up to me and over the years we have built a trusting friendship. During our years together she shared her love of singing with me and often sang her favorite song to me. This year, as a fifth grader she told me that her school was having a Talent Show and she was thinking of participating. I was so excited. I encouraged her to participate and told her she had a beautiful voice and would do a great job. When I came to see her the next time she told me that she had spoken to the music teacher and she was going to be singing a solo in the Talent Show. I was very excited that she had come to a place in her life where she had enough confidence to sing in front of the entire school. The day of the event I was excited but nervous for her. After several other performances, my mentee appeared on the stage dressed as Barbie in a white gown, with a long blond wig, in a six foot pink box the art teacher created which was titled “Barbie”, as she sang the song “Barbie Girl.” The crowd started to cheer and clap. She was the hit of the show. It was a “Hallmark” moment. This shy little girl had never been the center of attention in her entire life.   As I was leaving the school after the event, the Principal told me “you have definitely influenced this young girl, I would have never believed she would ever perform and stand out amongst all the students, you should be very proud.” My influence was nothing more than being a friend, listening and reinforcing that she was a sweet girl and a special person. Covenant to CareCovenant to Care for Children has a match that started in June of 2005.  The child, Marla lived with her grandmother at the time the match took place.  The mentor, Kat is a second grade teacher in Stratford.  When we introduced Kat to the Marla there was an immediate connection.  Marla was eight years old at the time, very hyper, had difficulty reading along with struggles in other academics at school.  She was also on eight different medications (she was diagnosed as bipolar) and a little overweight.  Marla’s grandmother informed us that Marla has transferred to six different schools and 3 homes in eight months and could not get along with the children in her class at any of the schools. Marla’s mom was incarcerated for a couple of years.  It was very evident this played a part in Marla’s unstable life.  Marla and Kat began to go on outings.  Kat knew Marla had difficulty reading so Kat would play games with Marla and help her with her reading skills at the same time.  For example, Marla and Kat would go out to restaurants.  Kat would tell Marla she would have to read the streets signs in order for them to reach their destination.  Marla enjoyed the game so she would go along with it.  Once they arrived at the restaurant Kat would have Marla read the menu. A few months later Marla was removed from her grandmother and situated with her aunt Christine.  Christine was very active and had three children of her own.  Throughout the changes Kat continued to mentor Marla.  Six months later Marla began to improve with her behavior and grades in school.  At the end of the first year Marla made a lot of new friends in school, seemed very comfortable living with her aunt, was down to taking three medications a day and started losing weight.  Some of their outings would include going to Kat’s church, trips to the park, cooking lessons at Kat’s house.  Kat and Marla would also go to museums and play board games together.  They developed a strong trusting relationship.  Marla loved having her mentor around.  Christine stated it was a blessing to have Kat as Marla’s mentor.  She witnessed great improvement with Marla. Two years later Marla was off all medication, she was doing exceptional in school and had a lot of friends.  Today, Marla is a happy 10 year old, doing 10 year old things living in a stable environment and healthy lifestyle.  Kat and Marla continue to stay in touch. Mentoring for Academic Achievement and College Success (MAACS) ProgramBridgeport Public Education Fund  Rosa was a senior at Bassick High School when she was introduced to the MAACS program. While she was an intelligent and reflective student with a great sense of humor, Rosa often found herself disengaged from her class work and distracted by issues at home. She questioned the purpose of her classes, and didn’t really see college as a viable option for her since her two older brothers and role models chose to work immediately after high school. During study hall one day, Rosa noticed MAACS students and mentors at work and wondered about the opportunity to have a college student mentor. After learning more about the program, she was paired with Jing. Jing was a graduate of Bassick High, and had worked with a mentor during her own high school years.  Rosa was very motivated while at Bassick, and remained as motivated during her time in college. She felt that she wanted to offer someone else the same guidance she received that had contributed so greatly to her success in college. At first, Rosa didn’t believe that she and Jing had anything in common – they came from very different backgrounds, had very different interests, and performed differently in school. Rosa wasn’t really sure the match was going to work out.  As the weeks passed, though, Jing continued to visit Bassick every week and extend her support to Rosa, and something changed. Rosa began coming early to wait for Jing. Instead of waiting for Jing to ask her questions and offer advice, Rosa came up with questions of her own. Jing mentioned that they had exchanged emails, and that Rosa shifted from planning for “if” she attended college to “when” she attended college. With Jing’s encouragement, Rosa’s grades improved, and she discovered a passion for literature that she planned to translate into a college major.  Rosa attended the college success workshops for MAACS students during her spring vacation. She applied to the local community college, where she plans to attend part-time while she works. College for Rosa turned from a distant possibility to an attainable reality, and she found the path that was right for her through her relationship with her MAACS mentor. BRIDGEPORT MENTORING PROGRAM Nate Kantor called the Bridgeport School Volunteer Office in 2004 and expressed an interest in mentoring. Nate’s children were grown and he wanted to do something positive with a child who did not have as many opportunities as the children in his own community. He was matched with DeShawn Fields, a bright, very active 10 year old boy in fourth grade who was easily distracted and not working up to his potential. DeShawn lived with his grandmother and aunt, and they, along with his teacher, felt he needed a male role model. Nate said, “It was easy to get to know DeShawn. He enjoyed the special attention and was always happy to see me walk into the school. I found DeShawn to be a likable, good kid who sometimes made poor decisions. On these occasions, I talked with him about what happened and alternatives that might have had better outcomes.” In the beginning, they simply ate lunch together and played games to get to know each other. Sometimes they would go outside and toss a football around. Nate found other boys wanted the attention as well and would ask to join them.  As DeShawn has matured, their friendship has deepened. Nate truly enjoys his time with DeShawn and has faith in his ability to do great things with his life. Although he really wants to see DeShawn take giant steps forward, he knows that maturity progresses in baby steps. He is patient and will continue mentoring DeShawn with the hope that the seeds he is planting will take root and flourish. Nate says, “People can ‘give back’ to their community by making donations, but mentoring is an opportunity to ‘give back’ in terms of spirit. Although the hour’s commitment each week is sometimes difficult to schedule, I believe that giving this time is a small thing that has the potential to make a large difference in the life of a child. Many of those boys who wanted to play football with us would benefit from having a mentor as well.”